HEYYYY! Long time!

I haven’t been writing much here… I’ve been so busy, and I’m trying to get all organized before school starts so that I can get to writing with earning money in mind. Send good vibes! Lately my writing has been all SERIOUS, all about ‘packing a healthy lunchbox’ (next time: Omelettes!) and how there’s ‘no need to make an appointment for bumps and babies groups!’

Which is great! I’m having so much fun with this! Apart from the stress of responsibility and deadlines of course, which I have to get used to. Still writing at GNM Parents every Tuesday, too.

So, what with all that and being on holidays with hordes of visitors and sunshine and NO child free time, there has been very little blogging. The times I DO want to blog, it’s about HOW MY CHILDREN BEHAVED IN THE SHOE STORE, and THEY ARE TOO BIG FOR THIS TO BE CUTE and all. Really. If you saw a two-year-old lying on the floor in the shoe store waving his legs in the air all ‘LOOK at my new shoes? Can I wear them home!?’ you’d smile, right? But a lanky pair of adolescents? Nuh-uh. I was pissed off, actually.

I would totally tell worse stories about them, but I promised not to embarrass them on the internet any more now they’re all grown up. And yet, they can still embarrass me in Clarks.

And next week, they will go to school looking all fab, with ties straight and shirts tucked in and new shiny polished shoes, and they will behave like fine upstanding gentlemen because I’m not there to embarrass.

There was a little boy in the shoe store today, and I looked at him and said ‘Did you ever think that big boys like that could be so NAUGHTY?’ He shook his head, speechless.

I think we are ALL looking forward to school now. Enough with holidays. Chas and Sam are excited to start all kinds of new activities and have decided they want to do fencing, on top of everything else. I think they are thinking that stabbing at each other with swords every Tuesday evening at school would ROCK.

Schroedinger the snake is doing well and growing, still existing/not existing in his terrarium as it pleases him.

We’ve been doing knot-tying, macrame, braiding things to make rope, using kitchen string and hemp in different colours. Everywhere you look, there is a knot tied to a chair. We are knot experts.

Chas has been doing the Rubik’s Cube. I have been messing it up. He can’t do it in one minute yet, but he did meet someone IN PERSON who can do it in under 30 seconds. Pretty awesome! (I can mess up a Rubik’s Cube entirely in just three seconds. A record!)

We went to the library and brought home a huge heap of books. I will have to do two trips to take them all back.

We’ve watched waay more TV than ever before: top gear, robot wars, ray mears’ survival series, the big bang theory, star trek, DVDs. TV will be covered up with a throw or something from the first day of school, BANNED. Life will go on.

Just in case anyone was really wondering, we DID do the experiment “Does Peanut Butter Remove Lice Eggs As Effectively As It Removes Bubble Gum” and the outcome was “No It Doesn’t”. Which was disappointing. Sam thought we’d be rich for sure. Even if you RUB the peanut butter VIGOROUSLY onto the offending hair, the lice eggs will still be there once you’ve washed out the peanut butter.

We did not look at the peanut butter with our microscope afterwards, because hairy peanut butter and lice, it was just too much for the scientific team.

We intended to try different substances in our ‘Lice Egg Removal’ series of experiments, (bubble gum was a contender…) but alas, we are now lice-free. The boring, tried and tested methods of treating, re-treating, combing through etc are foolproof.

Ladies and gentlemen of the internet, my life is not dull. Never worry that I might be just sitting here, longing for something to happen. But assume that at any moment, something IS about to happen, and whatever it is, it will not be pretty.

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13 Responses to HEYYYY! Long time!

  1. Pappy says:

    that all sounds like so much FUN!!!
    But I am glad that I no longer have to deal with any of it!
    (Actually, if I were truthful, which I begin to doubt, I miss it ALL)

  2. Kath says:

    I am LONGING for Monday and return of routine. Summer hols are all very well but the kids get 6 weeks and I don’t. Which is unfair in the extreme. It is very hard to work while wooden sword-fighting goes on right outside the study.

  3. melissawest says:

    Ah, the entertainment of boys! Mine like to spar with their bo staffs–not as sharp, but can dent a skull pretty well. bummer about the lice experiment, but you’re on to knots now and that’s a useful skill. We’re off TV here, too. School has begun! Hooray!

    • Nan says:

      I told the boys that if they switch that TV on after this weekend, I will SELL IT! They looked terrified. They definitely won’t be turning it on!

  4. aclare says:

    Sword fighting while trampolining sounds like an accident waiting to happen. But then that’s just me – the person who thought she could climb a tree one handed or jump from a top bunk bed (with no mattress on it I believe) to a table at the other side of the room to escape imaginary sharks….

    Anyway, regarding your article about healthy lunches, I hope you got my email with the link and it was useful to you.

    Oh and have you tried “If you would like to behave like a 2 year old in public then that means I can write about it on my blog” tactic. Although in a couple of years it will be “My mum is soooo embarrassing… I can’t go out with her” it won’t be ‘cool’ to be seen with your parents. Teenagers are funny creatures – glad I’m not one anymore!

  5. the Mother says:

    “alas, we are now lice-free” is a statement I never thought I would ever hear.


  6. vicki says:

    Fencing! Yes. Oh YES!
    A friend of mine was hot for a fencing instructor and begged me to come with her to his classes. She (almost 6 feet tall) ended up screaming and running for her life whenever someone came at her with the sword. I (at 5 feet) reveled in it! What a power trip! I could feel my pirate genes come rushing to the fore! Arrrghhhhhhh yer land lubber take that, and that šŸ˜‰


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